GET OFF THE INTERNET

[ 30 June 2009 ]

Yayoi Kusama
Photo by goldeneyes2007 in Yayoi Kusama’s Infinity Room.

We keep distancing ourselves from one another — secluding ourselves in our houses, turning down social invitations, wearing headphones all over the city — but at the same time trying to reach out digitally & immerse ourselves in one another’s lives via Twitter, Flickr, Facebook, instant messenger. We send endless text messages but never pick up the phone, & keep up with our friends by reading their Facebook status instead of going out with them to dinner.

...& then we wonder why we all feel so lonely & isolated.

There is nothing to wonder about!

The internet is an amazing tool, but NOTHING competes with sharing physical space with another person! You can read status updates until your eyes drop out of your head but you’ll never learn as much about your friend as you would from just going out for a drink.

The internet is not real life.

Face to Face
Photo by quatre merles.

GET OFF THE INTERNET.

Go fall in love or something.


Love letters & feather headdresses,

<3
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---

Comment

  1. Something tells me you did, and that’s why you don’t update as often anymore ;)

    I agree, though, but for my job I’m on the internet all day so it’s hard to avoid, haha. I rarely use a computer at home, though. That’s real world time for me!

    <3 Francine · Jun 30, 12:59 PM · #
  2. What an eye-opener! We spend so much time in front of our computers that we forget how to live. I’ve only recently started to decrease the amount of time I spend online and instead, go out more, read actual books and play with my younger siblings – & it feels great!

    Does this explain the lack of posts lately?

    I do miss your style tips!

    <3 Sarah-Mayy · Jun 30, 01:03 PM · #
  3. Ah my lack of posts is mostly due to huge investments of time into Love & Sequins, as well as general life-organisation. I move into my new place tomorrow & will be much better set up for work so don’t worry, everything will pick up again v. soon!

    <3 Gala · Jun 30, 01:06 PM · #
  4. The reason for writing this was not to be like “oh you’re on the internet, for shame!”, because obviously I am on the internet almost all the time & I love it! It’s really more just a reminder that connecting with people requires spending ACTUAL time with them, & we appreciate life much more when we LIVE it rather than just being a spectator behind a screen!

    <3 Gala · Jun 30, 01:08 PM · #
  5. It really made me laugh to read this, because this pretty much sums up my life. Someone phones, you don’t answer on purpose and instead you send them a text message, when they know you have a contract phone so you’ve got free minutes, or even worse go online to message them through Facebook or Bebo.. Why not just speak to people I wonder sometimes.

    I guess things just feel safer on the internet. People you know can say something unpredictable or something you didn’t want to hear and they don’t have to see or hear your shocked reaction and you always have time to say you were afk and that’s why you didn’t reply sooner, or worse yet, close the page and say you were booted off the internet! Damn my connection..! I’m sure everyones done that last one at least twice.. =P

    <3 Lauracet · Jun 30, 01:20 PM · #
  6. Haha, you caught me.
    Thanks for the timely kick in the butt. I can spend hours browsing the net and it always seems productive at the time (inspirational pictures! news headlines! wikipedia articles! witty blogs! information overload!), but doesn’t really enhance my life in any meaningful way. At this moment a friend of mine is waiting on a call from me to hang out, so cheerio, going to do that now!

    <3 Marissa · Jun 30, 01:21 PM · #
  7. Lauracet — It’s so like that. & yes the internet does make things safe, but real human connection is about taking risk & being surprised & not just picking & choosing the parts of people you like, or being conveniently unavailable sometimes, or whatever…

    Marissa — Right on, have a rad time!

    <3 Gala · Jun 30, 01:23 PM · #
  8. This post is ideal timing. I’ve been feeling a bit lonely recently but decided to go out and meet my mum and little sister for coffee today and once they’d gone I went a wander round the shops and everyone was lovely! The shop assisants, the police man, the bus driver.
    Reminded me that going out for the day, even just for a short walk, is far more rewarding than if I’d spent the whole day in the flat watching day-time TV and ‘stalking’ people on Facebook!

    <3 Amy · Jun 30, 01:23 PM · #
  9. thats a pretty badass Le Tigre song too

    <3 lyra · Jun 30, 01:24 PM · #
  10. Amy — YES! That’s so awesome & exactly what I am trying to say! The internet is a fantastic accessory to our lives but it shouldn’t be the whole picture for that very reason!

    lyra — Oh Kathleen Hanna, we love you!

    <3 Gala · Jun 30, 01:25 PM · #
  11. i’ve made it my policy to accept every invitation to go out this summer. i spend enough time online while i’m at work, so i do my best to stay away from tv and internet when i’m home.

    <3 Sarah · Jun 30, 01:34 PM · #
  12. I’ve been reading this website for a long time and never got the balls to comment. But I truly love this post, and how much it pertains to me right now. My boyfriend went back home to Hungary until the 17th and I have spent almost every spare second online waiting for him, checking if he wrote to me, checking if he updated his pictures, ANYTHING. Besides working out, I haven’t hung out with a single person.

    Maybe it’s time for me to take a friend for coffee!? I absolutely love who you are and what you do. You’re a huge influence in many girls lives (including mine), maybe you can try putting your ideas of Feminism up or something more scandalous (but relative to what you do)!

    Just an idea, and mostly because I am majoring in Woman studies and I just see you as having a huge opportunity to shout out to girls that sexism IS wrong, and there IS a fine line between owning your look, or you look owning you.
    Thank you so much for doing what you do!!
    -Chelsea

    <3 Chelsea · Jun 30, 01:39 PM · #
  13. Amen, Gala! I was beginning to wonder if me and my small group of friends were the only ones who felt this way. But I guess I’m wrong—in a good way. :)

    <3 Jennifer · Jun 30, 01:50 PM · #
  14. Love this. It’s so true…as nice as it is to keep up with friends via Twitter/Facebook/Email, there’s nothing like laughing with your girlfriends in person.
    (And I hope that you fell in love off the internet, because the Dish is dreamy!)

    <3 Lesley Denford · Jun 30, 01:58 PM · #
  15. Oh god, Gala, thank you. That’s exactly what I needed to hear today.

    <3 Sarah · Jun 30, 02:01 PM · #
  16. So true! I attended a Waldorf school grades 1-8 and parents were strongly encouraged not only to limit TV/internet time but to not expose their kids to those media, period. Obviously I use the internet all the time now, but I think that I developed more during those years than I have since. The internet really hampers our ability to intuit social situations. Whenever I’m separated from the computer for a length of time I feel healthier and more self-motivated. Thanks for bringing this up!

    <3 Hannah · Jun 30, 02:05 PM · #
  17. awwww gala this is why i love you SO MUCH. i love that you work so hard to help keep us in the right frame of mind. i think i will leave the internet and go for a drive with my dad now :) family is so wonderful to have and i’m not usually in the same town as them…time to soak it all up!

    <3 robin jean · Jun 30, 02:07 PM · #
  18. Ha, I always feel like such a geeky kiddo because of all the time I spend on the internet. But looking at it now, hell, it’s not that much at all, and I interact with real live people quite a bit. Sad, I kind of liked feeling like a cute little geek in my glasses, nose pressed against a glowing monitor, haha… this was a good reminder.

    <3 Limespark · Jun 30, 02:09 PM · #
  19. speaking of LOVE & SEQUINS...i am signed up for the $10 a month plan. do i make this payment or is this billed to my account on a certain date? thank you, sweet! i can’t wait for the new one

    <3 kristin · Jun 30, 02:10 PM · #
  20. Perfect post!!!

    <3 becky · Jun 30, 02:19 PM · #
  21. Thank you Gala! I’ve been off of Facebook since May and a ton of people think I’m crazy for doing it. I’ve spent a lot of time writing and reading instead, it’s a more fulfilling way to spend my summer. The Internet is so completely boring compared to the outdoors.

    <3 Heather · Jun 30, 02:19 PM · #
  22. Tweeted this post! Hahahahahahahaha.

    (Only being a smarty pants, I totally agree that real life needs to happen once in awhile.)

    Like Francine said, it’s a bit harder for those of us who work online. It’s easy to get burnt out! Sometimes I feel like my eyeballs are bleeding. <3 Kylie · Jun 30, 02:21 PM · #
  23. This made me smile, because I just did fall in love. Unfortunately, at the moment, the internet is the only way for me to talk to him as he is working a music festival and doesn’t get off until after midnight. So he doesn’t know yet, but I’m planning on telling next Monday, the soonest possible time I can see him in person. Things like this are too exciting for the internet and its high chances of misunderstandings.

    But for now, my best friend and I are plotting a meet up for later today before my interview at Lush, where I will get to babble about soaps with my favourite sales associates. Today is a lovely day to spend with other people.

    <3 Cyndee · Jun 30, 02:25 PM · #
  24. Oh Gala, so true!
    I was once addicted to messenger, but not anymore. Comes a time where we just get bored about the predictability of internet.

    Great advice;)

    <3 Sofia · Jun 30, 02:29 PM · #
  25. i love this post!
    so so true!
    x

    <3 Kat · Jun 30, 02:31 PM · #
  26. It’s so funny that you posted this today. My housemate is trying an experiment where he’s going to go totally without the internet for a month. I just sent him this link for encouragement! :) Thanks, Gala!

    <3 Teresa · Jun 30, 02:42 PM · #
  27. Great advice, Gala! I’m glad you posted this. I think internet culture is becoming a bit too consuming. A lot of people just don’t interact with people as much as they used to, and Facebook is full of unfulfilled “we should hang out sometime!“s and “I miss seeing you— we should fix that“s. I used to practically LIVE on the internet, but nowadays I realize how much more rewarding it is to spend quality time with friends and The Boy ahem IRL.

    <3 Vanessa · Jun 30, 02:53 PM · #
  28. get off the internet, I’ll meet you in the street! When I’m in New York…

    <3 rachael · Jun 30, 02:55 PM · #
  29. but Gala, what if I fell in love on the internet?

    <3 dannel · Jun 30, 02:57 PM · #
  30. Hehehe! What a great reminder. I talked about this at Bonne Vie (and you can’t imagine the flack I caught for writing that post).

    It’s true, the internet is an amazing communicative tool, but it’s no substitute for the human-to-human interaction you find in real life. In focusing on real life and in letting myself be thrust away from the giant mass of internet, and spending a little time in the real world, I broke the habit of worrying about how many emails I’d have waiting (I’ll get to them) or how many posts I have to write (they’ll be written when they need to). I started enjoying more of the good real life I have and worrying less about the good (yet intangible) net life I’ve built.

    The people I’ve met in the past few crazy months are all amazing people and I look forward to forging great friendships with them – but I believe it’s better to put my stock into a real and tangible friendship instead of a few passing words on the net. There is life outside the internet and it’s out there, happening right now, with vast opportunities and ideas for you to be part of. Turn off your monitor, stand up, stretch and find out what amazing adventures lay in store when you just unplug.

    bonne

    <3 Birdie · Jun 30, 03:00 PM · #
  31. Aww thanks :D this really helped today. After reading this I called my girlfriends and we’re going out to the movies tonite. xoxo

    <3 Sprinkle · Jun 30, 03:03 PM · #
  32. Real life is amazing wandering around NYC today I got asked out by two random guys and met this amazing girl who I’m going out to dinner with tonight. Sometimes I think all I need is the internet then I have a day like today and I realize how wonderful it is to get off the computer!

    <3 Teagan · Jun 30, 03:12 PM · #
  33. The internet is real life – & it had loads to do with making the real life you’re enjoying now (of course, hand in hand with your passion & drive, but it was all facilitated by and continues to prosper due to online) ... it’s about balance. Balancing online and offline, enjoying & deepening relationships by keeping in touch in both mediums. Hope this doesn’t sound confrontational & narky, it’s not intended in that way. Just my 2 cents.

    <3 Kate · Jun 30, 03:14 PM · #
  34. This is awesome. You are so right. Unfortunately, I’m on the internet all day at work (sortof by necessity) but recently, my husband and I have moved temporarily into his parents’ house while we wait to finish closing on our new home. It’s funny because I expected it to be stressful being in that close proximity with my in-laws, and I thought I’d prefer to hide behind my laptop. However, it’s been rather refreshing. Feels like being in a little cozy nest, all close with loved ones, etc. Yesterday, I even got a free lesson on poison ivy and poison oak — a bit of necessary knowledge for surviving their back yard. Sure, I could’ve read that info on the internet, but it was fun to go walk in the woods and learn it first hand.

    <3 Mary · Jun 30, 03:14 PM · #
  35. This made me laugh! Thanks for the reminder. :)

    <3 Addie Marie · Jun 30, 03:15 PM · #
  36. Kate — No, of course… I understand that the internet is important, I LOVE it & of course, it is how I make my living! I just think it’s important for people to be reminded how rad the world outside the screen is.

    <3 Gala · Jun 30, 03:17 PM · #
  37. LOVE YOU.

    <3 Lauren · Jun 30, 03:18 PM · #
  38. How true. We really need to unplug!

    <3 Camille · Jun 30, 03:21 PM · #
  39. Gala,

    This really reaches out to me, but I feel like as if the only life I have is on the internet.

    I live in a very small town, people are opposite here. Very ‘red’, very close-minded, very Republican, very LARGE V8 Truck driving country folksy. Don’t beleive it? Ever watch the show ‘Kendra’? (I have not but..) in one episode, I know her husband brings her to his hometown of Clovis (which is where I live) and she can’t get over how much nothing-ness there is, and how many cows there are!

    I couldn’t live a life outside the internet unless I move away from this town, of which I can’t since I’m in the middle of surgeries :(

    Maybe they should make a Match.com for finding friends based on compatibility? LOL!

    - Crysti

    <3 Crysti · Jun 30, 03:22 PM · #
  40. true story!

    ps: i find such things ie the safeness of the internet rawther dull. i looove surprises and emotion and challenges and expression and getting into sticky situations that actually make you think; where you have to act cos you can’t fake it.

    real life, baby.

    <3 tatiana · Jun 30, 03:26 PM · #
  41. Ah, but Gala, if I am not on the internet then how am I supposed to check for updates on the utterly fantabulous iCiNG? I can not live without my dosage of awesome from Gala! :>
    xoxo

    <3 Helena · Jun 30, 03:28 PM · #
  42. I completely understand this, everyone else should too!

    However living in a rural area means that the internet is a complete lifesaver, like a wonderful umbilical cord-like connection to the outside world. I wish I could meet up with my friends more often rather than have to message them on Facebook or MSN.

    <3 Becky · Jun 30, 03:32 PM · #
  43. BRB, going to meet one of my favorite people i met online today c:

    I AM EXCITE!

    i like choosing what i do by how interesting the story will be… not for others benefits, but i want to be excited when looking back on my life. i don’t care if it’s a HAPPY story or SAD story, as long as it’s interesting… :)

    <3 karen · Jun 30, 03:44 PM · #
  44. I greatly enjoyed this post! I really loved how you connected the idea of the more technologically advanced we become the more isolated we become as a by-product. I am a big film geek and the theme of technology causing our inevitable isolation is a big theme in many Asian Horror movies. I don’t know if you’re a fan but here are some popular easy to find titles that follow said theme:

    Kairo(Japanese), Directed by Kiyoshi Kurosawa.

    Chakushin ari (Japanese), Directed by Takashi Miike.

    Ringu (Japanese), Directed by Hideo Nakata.

    Pon (Korean), Directed by Byeong-ki Ahn.

    There is also a very good episode of Boogiepop Phantom (Japanese), that features said theme.

    <3 Niki · Jun 30, 03:56 PM · #
  45. This post made me laugh, but you are SO right!

    <3 Lauren · Jun 30, 04:00 PM · #
  46. Good call, Gala. This is a great reminder, especially for our generation. Big ups!

    <3 Bailey · Jun 30, 04:07 PM · #
  47. Hehe, go fall in love or something.
    Yes m’am!

    <3 Scott · Jun 30, 04:16 PM · #
  48. Another problem with the internet is the lack of tone! If you were reading this out loud to us, I’m sure you’d sound cheerful and encouraging. In text like this, however, it seems harsh & condescending. Boo!

    But, indeed, I have seen friendships suffer due to a lack of face-to-face time. & it’s summer, so what better time to go out and play?

    <3 Leah Creates · Jun 30, 04:18 PM · #
  49. I am usually a person who is rarely on the internet, but for the past few months I’ve somehow turned into a bit of a hermit and the internet has become this hermit’s bible.

    I think that “we” use the internet to avoid things in our lives that are lacking, things that are in the real world, but we know that they’re easier to find through the safety of the internet.

    Thank you so so much for this reminder.

    <3 Twinkle · Jun 30, 04:21 PM · #
  50. Love this small post, and I agree totally. I think I will make more of an effort not to text all the time, and actually phone. Though I do love my texting.
    I’ve been thinking this way for a while now – I am an internet addict and I certainly love it for keeping in touch with a lot of people, but it is definitely funny how the most people I chat with online are FROM THE SAME CITY...it makes sense when it is long distance. Mostly I love it because I can talk to so many people at once and still do other things, but I agree with your sentiments.

    I do socialize a lot more than I used to – mostly BECAUSE of the internet :)

    <3 Lorra · Jun 30, 04:39 PM · #
  51. yes! thank you for saying this. i need it.
    x

    <3 jennine · Jun 30, 04:41 PM · #
  52. It’s not that easy for everyone, Gala.

    <3 emily · Jun 30, 05:01 PM · #
  53. I feel bad for saying that, this is a happy place. Lots of people cling to the internet for a reason though :(

    <3 emily · Jun 30, 05:03 PM · #
  54. You are so right. :)

    <3 Nadine · Jun 30, 05:16 PM · #
  55. I am EXACTLY THE FIRST PARAGRAPH right now and it is SO INCREDIBLY AWFUL.

    But I’m working on changing everything! I have a great, busy week ahead of me and want to keep it that way for the rest of the summer. I’m in France, Jesus. I should be making the most of it.

    This blog post has saved me from a very uneventful vacation, I think.

    <3 Michelle · Jun 30, 05:28 PM · #
  56. You are right. I completely agree with you. Sadly enough, teens today can’t seem to grasp that. I love being out and about, but I don’t text- I don’t normally call people on the phone either, I actually go and see them! Put down the phone, guys! The internet is artificial intelligence, it doesn’t have a mind of it’s own and it only eats your money. Get out, do things!

    <3 A.D · Jun 30, 05:37 PM · #
  57. The internet is good, great even…and helps many of us to make a living. But there’s a difference between using it as a tool versus spending every waking hour on it. If you go outside, the internet will still be waiting when you return! So right on, Gala. Keep on preachin’! xoxo

    <3 Nubby · Jun 30, 05:52 PM · #
  58. i digress with the “the internet is not real life” statement. what is it then if it’s not an important part of our current means of communication? is what we see on a screen of lesser value than if we were to experience it in “real life”? they’re different experiences, surely, but all part of the same reality, personal and/or shared. it’s important to remember that the internet is made of people, and some of us —including our projects and internet doings— are not substitutes of a person but extensions of our selves.

    but, i really like the other things you mentioned. i think we sometimes forget that we have other things that can enrich our existence outside of this confined circuit box. besides, using the internet has become part of strict routine for many of us — it’s always a good idea to take a breather from the fussiness that the it sometimes implies :)

    <3 Teresa · Jun 30, 05:53 PM · #
  59. Hear hear! First of all i love that first photo, i wish i went to see her work when it was in town but i just hoping for a next chance.

    Anyhow ever since my Ibook sort of died on me i have been off the internet. It was really shocking at first to see how much i missed my netvibes and my polyvore-sets. Now I’m 2 months ahead with no regular internet, no tv and i feel quite ok. So yeah i still miss my daily reads on everything fabulous and awesome but i saved a lot of money not buying online stuff. I only use the internet because of my job searching quest and i’m happy to have Gala in my inbox but i can live without 24hr check ups… and i can live without ONTD’s newest epic post.. Just don’t let it rule your life. Just let it be a book you can put back in the bookcase

    get offline!

    <3 Amika · Jun 30, 06:35 PM · #
  60. The idea is all well and good, by I’m a Sydney girl who now lives in the hick town of greenville, SC. The majority of my life is back in Sydney.
    I don’t drive and I’m planning an at home business so if it weren’t for the internet, I wouldn’t have social interaction with anyone for 20 hours a day, 4 hours being with my husband when he gets home from work.

    <3 Nicole · Jun 30, 06:42 PM · #
  61. Amen, ten times over! Usually, the internet is what I take to when I am relaxing between doing things, though I used to be on it so much more a few years back. That wasnt fun. Face to face, skin to skin, eye to eye can never be replaced for anything!

    <3 Althea · Jun 30, 07:09 PM · #
  62. Came at an appropriate time haha. I’ve got an assignment to do but have been distracted by the net all morning, was just working up the willpower to close it and actually do some work when I decided to check iCiNG, which, lo and behold, yelled at me to GET OFF THE INTERNET :P I was like D: Yes Ma’am! and once I’m done typing this comment that is exactly what I will do :)

    <3 Jane · Jun 30, 07:14 PM · #
  63. So true Gala. so so so so true. bring back letters in the mail too i say!! its funny, in all our technological advances, created so its easier to reach out to one another, it can also distance us further apart. its not real. its technology. and what we do with our days is all habits. getting stuck on the internet is a habit. these can be broken. anyway thank u for your amazing site, i’ve gotten so much inspiration and joy from you, keep shining your bubbly goodness on the world woman, you rock :) xxxooo

    <3 Miss Jax · Jun 30, 07:16 PM · #
  64. It might be true, but what if the only way to reach my love is through the internet…

    <3 Rina · Jun 30, 07:32 PM · #
  65. I have been thinking along these lines myself, a lot lately! I come on the internet to work, then get distracted and waste hours doing nothing constructive.

    “Go fall in love or something” HAHAHAHA!!! Yes, please! Love it. Love you! xoxo

    <3 shells · Jun 30, 07:39 PM · #
  66. next month i’m moving in with friends i wouldn’t have ever made without the internet, and i’m so unbelievably glad i’ll be able to do normal, inane real-life things with them (like deciding what crap to watch on tv, or who’s going to have to go out in the rain to get more milk), as opposed to just commenting on eachother’s facebook statuses. :}

    <3 rar. · Jun 30, 08:13 PM · #
  67. Or…. go ride a rollercoaster, have a beach bonfire party, go camping, go hiking, go fishing, all that awesome stuff. That’s what I’m doing this summer.

    <3 Angie · Jun 30, 08:22 PM · #
  68. The main message of this post is apt, Gala, but I’m afraid you’ve successfully managed to alienate a large portion of your readership.

    <3 Mandy · Jun 30, 08:30 PM · #
  69. WERD.

    <3 tess · Jun 30, 08:31 PM · #
  70. there’s a cool firefox application called ‘leechblock’ that allows you to set a time limit on the websites that make you less than productive. when your time limit is up, it blocks the websites so you can’t procrastinate on them. definitely comes in handy.

    <3 denise · Jun 30, 08:45 PM · #
  71. Thanks for this blog post! The last couple of weeks I’ve just been online more than the average person, and now I’m ready to soak up the sun & go on a walk and maybe find someone who’s read this as well!

    <3 ryc · Jun 30, 09:26 PM · #
  72. I’ve been reading your blog for a while, but never commented. While I totally agree with what you are saying, for some it is not so simple.

    I find it hard to meet people and go do things, sometimes it’s because I’m too shy, other times my weirdness and ‘different’ personality/vibe can drive people away.

    Sometimes I would consider the internet a security blanket because of how awkward I can get or feel in real life. I can have socialism without that feeling.
    But when it comes down to it I would love to be able to have a great physical/real social life. Its almost like I need to learn how to be the ‘physical’ type of social.

    I’ll admit I have talked to people online who are in the same room as me 99% of the time that was when I was in class, people on separate sides of the room would facebook each other. It shows how ridiculous the internet can get.

    <3 courtz · Jun 30, 09:28 PM · #
  73. I have to send this post to some people.
    I am a really shy person,i prefer msn instead of phone,but at the same time i prefer much more meet people face to face intead of phone u.u
    And a hate sooo much when some friends of mine talk to me more on the internet than in ‘‘real life’‘ ¬¬

    <3 Ana P. · Jun 30, 09:46 PM · #
  74. Right! I’m off! (thankyouthankyouthankyou).

    <3 ella · Jun 30, 10:44 PM · #
  75. Gala obviously didn’t write the article to say, “Get off the internet and therefore, don’t read iCiNG and therefore, this post contradicts itself”
    She just means that you’ll obviously build a more authentic relationship with a person (whether that’s friendly or something more) when it’s done face-to-face, where you pick up on their flaws and their habits, rather than messaging and chatting to them online. I think it’s really important to ‘get off the internet’ and be around people every now and again, crying on someone’s shoulder in real life is alot more better than chatting online to someone and having to write ‘oh now I’m crying’.
    Great post, Gala. And I also really love those accompanying pictures.
    x

    <3 Teresa · Jun 30, 10:51 PM · #
  76. sigh so true yet so difficult when there is so much cool stuff on the net (like iCing this is my excuse for being slack with texting… i’d rather just enjoy real life than have a relationship with my cellphone!
    insightful as always Gala!
    x

    <3 Rosy · Jun 30, 10:56 PM · #
  77. i wholeheartedly agree.

    <3 Nina · Jun 30, 11:24 PM · #
  78. Hey Gala

    This reminds me of a post I did a while ago about communication and how it’s so easy to get ahold of someone we don’t actually TALK to them anymore. I’ve been writing people real letters and meeting up just for coffee and conversation and you wouldn’t believe how many people just aren’t used to it!

    leonofnewyork.com/blog/?p=238

    <3 Peter N. · Jul 1, 12:13 AM · #
  79. THANK YOU FOR THIS POST. Seriously. There’s something about being within the presence of another human being. It’s clear that conversation becomes a very important part of mutual interaction but even language barriers between people aren’t obstacles at all for potential intimacy and compassion. One of my greatest experiences was growing to love and in return feel the love of children who couldn’t speak and much less understand a word of English, while I was briefly volunteering at a camp in China.

    But on a side note, thanks to the Internet… I think I’m falling into something quite nice with a dapper fellow, teehee. We went to the circus together.

    <3 Jandruff · Jul 1, 12:40 AM · #
  80. A timely reminder. We’ve just been slogged with exams. Sleeping, eating, studying on a schedule. Working like a machine has been my life for a month.

    The other day my friend called and you know what? I was SO GLAD. I was surprised at the happiness a little human connection could bring and how much I needed it. We talked until we were hoarse and every single eensy bad feeling disappeared.

    YES get out there, connect, fall in love, break a heart, really FEEL.

    <3 Christine · Jul 1, 01:43 AM · #
  81. someone named Crysti posted a comment earlier which caught my eye because she mentioned clovis and i don’t know if she’ll read back or not, but if she is referring to clovis, california, i live right next door in fresno. and really there is so much to do when you’re not online!
    yes, there are a lot of republicans and a lot of cowboy type people around but that doesn’t automatically make them boring or completely incompatible with you. i definitely wouldn’t be lumped into that category, but i have friends here who might be a little politically conservative or whatever but it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy each other’s company for other reasons.
    actually i think people talk down about the fresno/clovis area way too much. there are tons of great galleries in downtown fresno, there’s great tea and people watching to be found in the tower district, there are tons of great places to eat no matter what you’re craving, fresh produce is ridiculously cheap, and there are some really great people who live here.

    it isn’t about where you live, but what you make of it.

    <3 denise · Jul 1, 02:48 AM · #
  82. I am reminded of this each time I stay with my boyfriend – he is gloriously unaware of the internet (honestly – he wouldn’t know how to type an e-mail if his life depended on it!), and staying with him for prolonged periods can make me somewhat twitchy (I usually develop an ‘‘oh my goodness, I haven’t updated my blog/Twitter!’‘ panic attack).. until I return home and realize that the world hasn’t spun off its axis just because I’ve missed someone’s latest FB status!

    <3 x Corrine/Frock & Roll x · Jul 1, 02:49 AM · #
  83. I LOVE THIS!

    <3 rain · Jul 1, 03:56 AM · #
  84. Thank you baby.
    You are a brave warrior rabbit,
    and you speak true words.
    Lovelovelove.

    <3 Angeliska · Jul 1, 04:25 AM · #
  85. Falling in love definitely made me spend more time off the internet, I can be off it for days and don’t even care that I have a few emails that need to be responded too..

    <3 Georgina · Jul 1, 04:54 AM · #
  86. Thank you for this post! I was beginning to think I was the only person who didn’t feel unable to breathe without checking on Facebook regularly, and I remember around 6 years ago being frustrated by my friends for being able to spend hours typing on msneaccen messenger, but heaven forbid they ever actually meet up, in person, and see real live people!

    That said, I recently spent four days in total isolation: a cottage in the Lake District with not only no internet access but also no mobile phone coverage (and, of course, no landline phone either) unless you walked to the top of the nearby hill, which made arranging for my car to be fixed while I was there a little challenging. That said, it gave me lots of time to talk to my mother, talk to locals, and walk about and enjoy the fresh air, although I was getting increasingly itchy for contact with ‘the ‘real’ world’ by the end of it.

    <3 Take the Key · Jul 1, 05:08 AM · #
  87. I used to be on the net for hours upon hours at a time, then I met my best friend/room mate/lover and we’re having a baby together and cannot fathom how on Earth I could do that for so long now.

    The most I spend online now is an hour or 2 a day which is probably still too much haha but that’s just how most people in my year group talk to each other, sadly (under 25). Most of the time we’re organizing things to do. The internet is cheaper than phonecalls though so I guess that’s another reason why and unlimited texting phone plans.

    <3 Cassie · Jul 1, 05:17 AM · #
  88. But I live on the internet! lol

    No, you’re totally right and I tell myself every day to go out and do stuff..but I’ve got too much to do online at the moment – moving my blog, working on my etsy shop…

    Once it’s all done I’m planning to dedicate certain times to the internet, like half an hour in the morning, half an hour at night and a few hours at the weekend to read all my favourite blogs and catch up with online friends :) The rest of the time it will be switched off at the plug!

    Nice one Gala x

    <3 cassie · Jul 1, 06:49 AM · #
  89. I’d LOVE to get off the internet. But you know, no one else wants to! Other than my boyfriend, but he’s at work all day :(

    <3 emilyjane · Jul 1, 07:00 AM · #
  90. SO TRUE GALA.
    I realised this a couple of weeks ago, when I was spending more time procrastinating on the internet than doing actual assignments.
    I’m weaning myself off the internet, slowly. Less facebook, checking my emails less etc etc.
    I’ve gone out and done something almost everyday in the past three weeks or so! It’s so great to not be at home.
    Home is boring and monotonous.

    Thanks Gala!
    xx

    <3 Lou · Jul 1, 07:33 AM · #
  91. Hear hear hear!

    <3 Oola · Jul 1, 08:08 AM · #
  92. the reason i spend the amount of time on the internet that i do is because i just sign onto MSN messenger and hope my beau comes online so that i can talk to him. we don’t get to see each other much in rl life because of being busy and what not so it’s one of the main times we get to talk but we never know when one another is gonna be on so i have to spend a lot of time online!

    <3 kati · Jul 1, 08:42 AM · #
  93. This post is a little ironic for me, cos I fell in love on the internet and it’s still my primary means of communication with the boy… we’re going to be living a little closer together soon (3 hours apart instead of 12! lol) which means we can see each other more often, something I’m really looking forward to. OUr MSN conversations are amazing, but you’re right Gala, nothing compares to real life!

    <3 Beth · Jul 1, 08:57 AM · #
  94. I have felt this way for a long long long time.
    First, my mom just wouldn’t let me have any social networking that involved the internet. Then I came to appreciate her wisdom as I saw my friends developing fake senses of friendly intimacy by simply reading statuses, looking through pictures, or texting back and forth over nothing. I never have been a girl of huge masses of friends. That’s not me. But the ones I DO have, I keep them close. We give each other personal attention that goes beyond commenting on each other’s walls. (They couldn’t do that with me anyways, I still don’t have a facebook!) I’ve watched countless “friendships” fall apart over nothing. This comes as no surprise: they were built on nothing.

    As you say, NOTHING COMPARES TO OCCUPYING PHYSICAL SPACE AND FILLING THAT SPACE WITH YOUR OWN WORDS (full of emotion, inflection, and flaws)AND YOUR OWN, TRUE PERSONHOOD WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE.

    <3 Sam Bard · Jul 1, 09:08 AM · #
  95. :) i love you.

    <3 this one girl · Jul 1, 10:01 AM · #
  96. Definitely.

    unfortunately my life ‘revolves’ around the internet, but recently I’ve been making myself spend more time scribbling and doodling on paper rather than typing on a keyboard. Much more real.

    <3 kim >> hiphopsideproject.com · Jul 1, 11:04 AM · #
  97. This is the reason why I don’t have Facebook, why I never write on Twitter and why I haven’t checked my Myspace for 4 months. And it really makes me angry when someone behaves differently on the Internet than in real life – when people don’t have the courage to tell you something in your eyes but have the courage to tell you some bullshit on the internet.

    <3 Zuzana · Jul 1, 11:27 AM · #
  98. Heh, I agree with your post in a lot of places. Sure, get up! Get moving! Do things! Life is always lived better and balanced and everything. I very much agree. Its wonderful to get out, get inspired, take up a new hobby or restart old ones. Push away from the screen every now and again!

    I don’t agree on the internet not being real life though. I don’t turn on my computer and enter a world of fakeness. The internet is a tool, an accesssory and it, for some people, is a way of life, not a fake life or a substitute of life, you know? That’s how I see it. Everything I do or experience sets off a real emotion or a real response. In that way, the internet is real life. At least for me. It allows me to share my projects, communicate with those I may have never met in my usual line of sight, etc. You know how it goes!

    Seeing a few commenters above saying the same thing and I’m just jamming in with my agreement, even if they’ve said it far better than I ever could. Bravo guys, for real.

    For me, the internet is part of my real life. And I wouldn’t change it one bit. :] it may not work for anyone and everyone and I hope your post inspires people to find their own perfect balance!

    It’s possible :]

    <3 melissa dominic · Jul 1, 12:06 PM · #
  99. ZOMG! This is precisely why I read this blog – my life is not taken up by the net – I didn’t have a internet connection at home all of last year, but I have been guilty of this recently.
    Instead of calling up #1 Crush and asking him to have a drink or something I instead spend my time drafting witty facebook messages.
    I need to get the guts to go fall in love.

    <3 ally · Jul 1, 07:29 PM · #
  100. I read this and then immediately accepted an invitation to go out for sushi with some friends. Can you believe I was thinking about not going because it was ‘too hot’?!

    <3 Annie Lapin · Jul 1, 08:07 PM · #
  101. Aren’t you wonderful? I aspire to be the type of person you are. x

    <3 Chrissy Kouwenhoven · Jul 2, 12:33 AM · #
  102. but…. if we weren’t on the internet… we wouldn’t be reading your blog now, would we?

    anyhoo… i met my husband on the internet, and i love it for all it’s worth, but yes, agreed that we should not spend all our time on here, or make out like we have a sh*t load of friends just because our facebook/twitter/whatever list says so… because i have realised over the years, the most important people and TRUE friends, don’t need the internet or sms for that matter, to contact you.

    <3 sea-cat · Jul 2, 12:58 AM · #
  103. ...i’ll meet you in the streets.

    le tigre said it like 5 years ago… finally people are hearing it!!

    <3 mielle · Jul 2, 11:47 PM · #
  104. sometimes virtual life is so much easier than real life…. you don’t get let down so often.

    <3 Rosy · Jul 3, 11:08 AM · #
  105. Too, too true. The internet has been GREAT when it comes to keeping in touch with far-away friends and connecting with new ones one would’ve never met otherwise, but if you don’t go out and do REAL things and get things circulating, you’ll never have anything to talk about!

    That being said, I’ve forced myself away from the interwebz and into new art projects, and now I’m having a hard time getting BACK to my computer enough to document it all!

    <3 Alice · Jul 3, 10:24 PM · #